I'm going to Twirl

Jude is 6 weeks old!

A short letter to Jude- just because today he is 6 weeks old and I can't seem to help myself. I want to chronicle every single day of his exsitence and be 'that mom' the one who shares WAY to many pictures and won't talk about anything else most of the time.

Jude, 

My entire world changed the moment I saw you for the first time. Each day of the past 6 weeks you have managed to teach me a little bit more about love in a way I least expected. Things haven't been easy, (you are still a newborn after all!) but I somehow love changing each diaper and waking up each morning for your 4am snack. I'm convinced the way your eyes light up when you smile is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

I cannot wait to watch you grow and learn and experience the world around you. You've taught your dad and I so much about each other in this short time that we didn't already learn over the past 10 years-it's truly been amazing and I thank you for it. I love you Jude Blake! 

-momma

p.s. I took almot all of these photos myself, so don't blame your photographer perfectionist father when you notice they aren't perfect!

9-11-12

Today is a day of remembrance and hope. Everyone can recall where they were when they heard the news and how they felt. I was sleeping and woken up by a call from my mother telling me to turn on the TV, which was sadly just in time to see the second plane hit the WTC. Groggy and stunned I remember instantly crying, not knowing any details, not understanding any of it. Just crying. I do not know anyone who was hurt or lost their lives in the attack, but as a human being, as an American, I felt rage and hopelessness knowing that so many innocent lives were lost.

 As I’m watching Jude sleeping so peacefully next to me now, I hope with every ounce of my being that he never wakes up to anything so horrible. September 11^th will not mean the same thing to him or any of our children, as it does to us. It will be a chapter in their history books instead of a painful memory. Just as important to him as an American, but hopefully not as enraging as it is to most of us. He wont look up suddenly with a twinge of fear at every low flying plane that passes over head like we do, and taking off his shoes at the airport wont be a hassle, it will just be the way its always been.

 I hope today you hug someone you love a little longer- trust me if the newborn next to me was capable of hugs I’d make him hold on for 5 solid minutes! 

One unforgettable month so far

Jude turned one month old today and the what all moms say is oh so true ‘my little baby is growing so fast!’ It seems almost impossible to believe that although the past 30 days have been the most difficult of my entire life so far, they have also been the most rewarding- and the most sleep deprived. Jude is currently on a  ‘I’ll sleep when I feel like it for as short amount of time as I want-you’re on your own mom- good luck with that’ schedule. Which basically means sometimes he will sleep for 4 hours starting at 10pm and then another 3 after a quick feeding, and sometimes it means he will sleep for 2 hours and want a snack and then he’ll repeat that exact pattern for 8 hours starting at 8pm. Luckily for me he wakes up at 5:30am every day and is wide-awake for the rest of the morning. Either way you look at it, I’m tired. ;-) A very happy, relieved, my life is complete, how was I ever happy before Jude, tired.

I’ll be home from work hopefully until the very beginning of December and I’m so thankful for that. I can’t imagine going back any sooner. I already get teary just thinking about being away from him all day while I’m back at work. How do all the working mom’s of the world do it?!  I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

 Breast-feeding is definitely all that it’s cracked up to be, painful but the best thing for him… & me, I’ve already lost 30lbs! Hoping to get rid of the remaining 20 as soon as the doc gives me the all clear to start running again. My goodness I never ever imagined I would be looking forward to running so much!

I’ve got some more pictures to share below and hopefully even more to come soon. It’s funny to me to scroll up and see that I’m writing about breast-feeding and sleep deprivation, its so typical of all new moms- and honestly I couldn’t be happier to be part of that seemingly cliché club.